The Moon and the Mage
by Sentai-Rider Fan
Summary: Rita thought she would be alone for the rest of her life, unable to continue she tries to commit suicide. However Estelle is determined to save her friend from the darkness in Rita's heart. Contains attempted suicide and yuri. DISCONTINUED.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, so this is a Rita X Estelle fanfiction, I hope you enjoy it. Please review since I love it when my stories are reviewed. If you have any suggestions on how I can improve it then please don't hesitate to tell me so and I'll do my utmost best to correct it, also if anyone would like to beta-read it then also tell me because I would love to work with you. Okay please enjoy. Also this is the first time I write in the first-person so if I make any mistakes also tell me because I love to improve on my work.**

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><p><span>Estelle's POV<span>

My footsteps echo across the castle, it was night-time now and most, if not everyone, had already fallen asleep with me yawning as I walk upon the cold, barren corridor that echoed so eerily of one of the books I read on vampires. It almost felt as though I was literally in the book, I wonder if this was how the character felt as he walked through the vampire's castle, did he dread the moment he would face his opponent? Would he run in fear like I would? Or would he bravely face it as the story suggests and eventually triumph over evil? I had hoped that it was the latter, it was reminiscent of how me, Yuri, Rita and everyone else had formed Brave Vesperia and fought against the Adephagos, saving the world and destroying a great evil though not without its costs in the form of all the world's blastias.

It had been a hard month, many people were simply not ready to take on board the fact that blastias no longer existed, of course the most frequently asked concern was the barrier blastias that would protect the cities from the monsters that roamed Terca Lumieries, however; strangely enough no cities were reported to be attacked by these monsters, in fact even when they were close to the city all they would do was stare at the people before moving on…it was as though it were the barrier blastias themselves that caused the monsters to attack the cities in the first place. It was truly ironic, we thought that by using barrier blastias we would protect our city but instead it made the monsters even more aggressive and when we thought that when the barriers were gone casualties would hit the sky it was in fact as low as the ground. I myself giggled at the irony before another yawn passed from my lips, I really need to get to bed now, as I walked towards my room I noticed Rita's room and smiled at how wonderful of a friend Rita has been to me.

When I had first met her she was arrogant and prideful of herself, she thought she was better than other people, and for a while she was as her abilities as a mage was invaluable to our small group which at the time consisted of only me, Yuri, Repede and Karol; all of us melee-type warriors with me as a healer. However as time went on and more people joined our group she began to become less arrogant and prideful of herself, she was still the undisupted mage of our little group, but she knew she was less experienced in fighting than either Judith or Raven so she began to tone down her attitude and soon became more of a friend to us. However it was the friendship between me and her that blossomed, even before she became tame I had not once stopped to try and make friends with her, I used jokes, trivia and even showed a little of my magic to her…all in an effort to make friends with her. Whether it worked or not was up for debate but now she had become one of my closest friend alongside Yuri, Flynn, and Ioder; the last two names I've personally known since childhood.

As I passed the door I noticed that Rita's door was open; that struck me as strange since I knew that Rita always closed her doors properly and even locked it to prevent people from simply barging in and interrupting her while she was experimenting or doing other things. The last time someone had barged in it resulted in said person being flown out of the window due to one of Rita's other experiments on an alternative for blastias and a good part of the castle being blown to bits as a result, therefore its generally not a good idea to just go into her room unless you have a very good reason to be there, or you're me who Rita doesn't seem to mind and often would stop whatever she was doing just to talk to me; another reason why I love her. So I slightly cocked my head to the side and approached the door, I could then hear the unmistakable sound of a plunger being pulled from a vial followed by a low sob and laboured breathing followed by three words that chilled my heart, "_I'm sorry Estelle…" _I gasped and immediately threw the door open…

Rita's POV

The candle flickered in and out as moonlight streamed from my window and into my room, I took a bit of crushed Elfroot and carefully tipped it into the vial making the liquid a dark red colour, "Done" I whispered to myself almost gasping at my own voice, "damn it" how the hell could I be scared of my own voice? Oh that's right…I barely heard it in a month, I gave a deep sigh and looked out the window as the vial bubbled under the candle's flame, it would be a while before it was done so I might as well look out the window for some deep thinking before it finishes. It's been a month, one goddamn month, since we've beaten the Adephagos and saved the world…well la-di-dah I might as well have killed myself when that happened, mind you I'm not a suicidal person and I've never even contemplated suicide until recently, but this month have been really tough on a lot of people. The constant complaints of barriers failing, monsters edging closer to towns only to turn away at the last second, prices creeping upwards, the nobles complaining of the commoners, the commoners complaining of the nobles and so on and so on. Yes it has been hard on a lot of people but the heaviest burden lay on my shoulders, amidst all the complaints and anger from the people there was one that was not heard over the clamour, the furious cries from the mages in Aspio, of course it wasn't like anyone should be surprised; after all they were the ones that use blastias the most…I mean it was literally the only job they actually had, studying blastias, and up to recently was mine as well.

I knew that when we defeated the Adephagos there was not going to be a happy reception back in Aspio, I just didn't know how unhappy they would be, the moment I stepped back into Aspio they made it very clear that I was no longer welcomed back and I quickly became an outcast in their eyes. What little friendship I had with a few selected individuals quickly evaporated into nothing more than mere memories, every chance they got they belittled me, abused me both verbally and physically, taunted me and practically made my life in Aspio a living hell. However being who I am I ignored those acts, they were nothing compared to the pain I had to endure while I was fighting against the Adephagos, the scratches, bumps, bruises, sword wounds and the occasional concussion, at least that's what I thought. But, for the second time in my life, I was wrong; the pain was excruciatingly painful…it wasn't the physical part I couldn't handle, that I had loads to practice on, it was the inside that mattered…the emotions, heart, feelings everything that made me who I am today. All of that shattered bit by bit as the taunts and their words stabbed me like a sharp sword until all that remained within me was an empty shell, a former shadow of who I once was, my mind slowly eroded into blanks as I routinely did whatever I did everyday; wake up, wash, do some trivial things, go buy groceries from Halure, go back home, eat and then finally sleep.

Eventually I had enough, I turned around but too quickly as a sudden jolt of pain made me gasp, as I massage my shoulder from a wound made by a broken bottle courtesy of that bastard of a mage Farlden. I gave a deep sigh and stared at the moon and I remembered how beautiful it looked when I gazed upon it the first time after I met Estelle, so bright and round, so beautiful that I almost had to be dragged away from it by Yuri before I gained control of my body…it was fitting that it would be the one to witness my demise. I had planned this for a long time, I gathered all the ingredients whether from the shops or picked by myself, I had read the instructions over and over again burning it into my mind before I burned it to make sure no one would know of my plan then I went to Zaphias and got myself a room in the castle; I then stopped…why did I go to Zaphias? Wouldn't it be better if I ended it in Aspio? It would be a fitting end, I started my life in Aspio and I will end it in Aspio…so then why was I here? Did I want to be saved? Did I not want to die? It would make sense since Estelle would be the one to save me but…it was the middle of the night and no doubt she would be asleep as well so that left her out of the equation since I would be long dead before she even knocked on my door.

So that left the one question as to why I came to Zaphias, I walked towards the window to gaze upon the moon for one final time before I heard the distinct sound of a vial slowly settling before it went still, I turned back and saw that the liquid had turned from dark red to emerald green, just like my eyes, I picked up the vial and swished it around to make sure it was perfect before taking a smell of it, it smelt like putrid fish and decaying flesh, something that anyone, mage or not, would not make…but I wasn't like any other people, I was Rita Mordio; famed mage of Aspio, the title rang hollow in my head as I realised that in the end I was just like ordinary people…with feelings and emotions just not better expressed.

I began to sob as I stared at the vial and my hands began to shake from what I was about to do, could I really go through with this? Could I really kill myself? All because of some words? It was a pathetic excuse but I was already pathetic anyway from the get-go so no surprises there…my eyes drifted towards the letter on my table, next to my goggle, it was addressed to Estelle in red letters the ink just beginning to dry and the quill next to it. I gave a heavy sigh and it racked with pain and sadness, it would be hard on everyone who I knew; Yuri, Karol, Judith, and Raven but it would be the most heaviest on Estelle, my one and only true friend I have left in this world, the one I would give my life for without a second thought…I hope that the letter would at least ease that burden on her gentle and pure soul so that she wouldn't follow me into the afterlife out of guilt and depression…that would be bad on my account. My hands drift towards the cold glass pane for the last time as I stared at the moon, it looked so beautiful and at the same time so sad…just like me except perhaps for the beautiful part but I've never met anyone other than Brave Vesperia and they're not exactly forthcoming in their opinions on my looks.

I swirled the vial around again as I stared at the liquid, I could reconsider this and throw the vial away, perhaps find something else to do but…no, there was too much pain in me and I couldn't be able to function like a normal human being, besides there wasn't anything worth staying for other than Estelle and I, hopefully, had taken care of that problem…a tear went down my cheek and hit the floor as I edged the vial closer to my lips before I utter my final words to the moon, "I'm sorry Estelle" then the door burst open and I turned around…


	2. Chapter 2

**So two chapters in one day, that's a good sign for this fanfic. So again please review, every review makes my day and makes me even more encouraged to continue this story. I hope everything is to your liking and if I can do anything to make it better please tell me. Thank you and please enjoy this second chapter.**

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><p><span>Estelle's POV<span>

When I burst into the room the first thing that I noticed was the smell, it reeked of putrid fish and decaying flesh, it was enough to make me puke but then it quickly disappeared. I stared at Rita as she stared at me, her mouth agape and her eyes betraying a myriad of emotions; anger, embarrassment, sadness and suffering in that order, I looked at her, then noticed the letter addressed to me then to the vial and I didn't need to have Rita's smarts to know what she was going to do, "Hey Rita…what are you doing?" I asked rather bluntly.

Rita looked at me for a long while and I feared that she was going to go ahead despite me being here, "Not much…just testing something" she finally said looking at the vial like it was a normal liquid and not something that would kill her.

"Really?" I asked sitting down on the bed, "what are you making?"

"Its really nothing special Estelle" Rita said with a forced smile.

"Come on tell me" I pleaded in my usual way though it was a bit forced I had to admit.

"Its nothing really…just something that I'm dabbling in" Rita said with a shrug, I noticed that her body was slow to react and each movement was followed by a ragged sob, I noticed that her eyes were puffy and red from constant crying while her eyes glazed as she stared at the vial.

"What does it do?" I ask knowing full well what it would do but I wanted to hear it from Rita's own lips.

"Just…a potion to help you sleep" Rita said almost in a low voice.

"Then can I have a try?" I asked shocking myself as I was literally offering myself up to commit suicide.

"What?" Rita asked visibly shocked and shaken, "w-why? Its still not ready yet."

"Then you shouldn't drink something if its not ready…its dangerous for your health" I retorted.

"But I need to test it to make sure its on track" Rita retorted back angrily.

"Then let me test it instead of you" I replied equally mad, Rita was being a jerk in thinking that I would just let her kill herself in front of me, did she really think that whatever was plaguing her she couldn't talk to me about it? That was selfish of her and irresponsible at all, not like the Rita I know and love.

"I-I…" Rita stammered not sure what to do or say in this situation.

"Come on, if it does help me sleep then you know it's a success, if it doesn't then I can easily cure whatever nasty side-effects come about" I said with a smile though internally I was screaming at myself for being an idiot and allowing myself to be put in so much danger but I pushed it aside, I don't care if I get hurt but I will save Rita from whatever she's planning to do whether she wants to or not, I put my hand out, "come on, give me the vial and I'll test it for you" waiting for her response.

Rita's POV

As soon as Estelle came bursting in I knew the game was up, it didn't take a genius to know what I was planning to do, the evidence was right there in front of their eyes…even Estelle wouldn't be able to ignore the implication from this set-up, at first I was angry at Estelle; how _dare _she stopped me from killing myself? I wasn't worthy of being saved, I'm just another mage who got caught up in an adventure like so many mages in one of Estelle's various adventure books but then that anger turned into embarrassment as I realised what I was saying, how could I think of Estelle in that way? It wasn't logical and none of what I'm doing is logical, soon my emotional dam burst and I found myself consumed my a myriad of both sadness and suffering as it threatened to tear me apart as Estelle asked me what I was doing, 'oh gee Estelle what does it look like I'm doing?' my mind sarcastically said as I pushed it aside then she tried to talk me down into telling her what the vial contained and as usual I deflected it with my usual antics until she asked me if she could take a drink of it.

I almost dropped the vial as my mouth dropped to the ground, 'What the hell is she thinking?' I asked myself that question, she obviously knew what the vial would do to her so why was she asking to drink it…was she that desperate to save me that she would happily drink something so fatal to her just to make sure that I wouldn't off myself? I almost laughed at how the outcome of the night had been, I never could've realised how much of a friend Estelle was to me…even before my attitude towards the group lessened I had always admired Estelle. The girl who took on the world despite knowing so little of it and she had suffered so much and rebounded into a more noble and selfless girl than when I first met her…I could never do that, I wasn't noble or selfless, hell for most of my life I was the opposite of noble and selfless as I pretty much ignored everyone in Aspio and thought myself as superior to them in every way.

I slowly chuckled as I tried to hold the vial and laugh at the same time before I gave a laugh that would've woken up half of the castle if I didn't shut myself in the instant, I sighed and twirled the vial, "You know Estelle…I've always admired you, even before I lost my attitude."

Estelle looked genuinely surprised at this, "Y-you did?" her cheek grew a dark red as she looked away from me before realising her mistake and staring back at me.

I didn't care if she did looked away from me, for now I just wanted to talk, to affirm that I am what I am and I wasn't doing this out of impulse, "Yeah…you're the most noble and selfless girl I've ever met, even when you knew that you were a threat to the Entelexeia not once did you ever stopped trying to care for people, if any you worked even harder to bring peace to Terca Lumiries, between the knights and the guilds, you took down one of the most powerful and slimebag bastard that was Alexei but most of all…you saved the world…I can't compete with that."

"So did you Rita" Estelle said a bit hotly, "you did all of those things, you figured out what the Adephagos was, you figured out how to beat it by combining all the blastias into one, you were even the one to commune with the four spirits…that's not something _I _could've done."

I gave a wry laugh, "True Estelle, you couldn't have done that but do the people know of it? Sure your stories mentions plenty of me and you give credit where it is due and more but…" I spread my arms towards the moon, "do the people know my name outside of the books? Do they know what I've sacrificed to save Terca Lumiries? No they don't" I explained in a low, almost melancholy tone, "all they know is Yuri the great swordsman and Estelle, the Child of the Full Moon, they probably don't even remember what I did" I spat the last sentence with every venom I could muster making Estelle gasp.

I myself gave a small gasp, I was losing control of myself, I was getting more and more furious at the people but I was substituting Estelle for them; it wasn't fair to her that she should hear this so I turned to Estelle and gave her a smile, "I'm sorry I'm rambling" I said apologizing to my best friend.

"No its fine…I just didn't know you felt this way" Estelle said with genuine concern, she looked cute when she did that and I more than often wished she gave me that look if only to reassure myself of my own existence but that couldn't be done, I slowly walked to her before I hugged her making her gasp and I could feel her cheek becoming blushed.

I gave a small sob, "Thank you Estelle…you're my only and true friend in this world, I just want to say thank you for being my friend, for being my rock when things went rough…without you I couldn't have survived that fight with Duke" I said.

"I-it's okay…" Estelle said giving me a reassuring pat.

"Just know this Estelle…I will always, always love you no matter what…so please" I edged the vial closer to my lips, "so please forgive me for what I'm about to do and I hope you live a long…and happy life" then I downed the whole content in a single go and the effect was almost instantaneous. My body went rigid as the poison ran rampant throughout my system, I could hear the vial drop to the ground and shatter before my body dropped to the ground with a loud thud, I could hear Estelle's cry of shock and surprise before she was by my side, using her artes to heal me, I didn't know if her artes would get rid of the poison, perhaps it would and I would be saved or perhaps it wouldn't and I'll die a slow and agonizing death. I could feel my heart beginning to slow down, soon it would stop altogether and then…and then I would feel death's embrace and go to the next world, my vision began to dim as my gaze fell upon the moon and how it was shining on my face as though revealing its true splendour just for my sake, "so beautiful" I whispered as my heart began to slow to a crawl and my vision began to dim as Estelle kept telling me to stay awake, I turned my head as best as I could and stare at Estelle's face, her expression one of determination and at the same time fear, I gave a ragged sigh as I used what strength I had left to lift my hand to her face, caressing it ever gently, before I gave her a final smile then as my vision darkened the hand dropped with a final thud…


	3. Chapter 3

**So this is my third chapter, no reviews yet and I'm a bit sad at that but its only been 24 hours since I posted the 1st and 2nd chapter so that's to be expected. But please, please review so I know how I'm doing. I'll open the review to flamers but in regard to that I want constructive flamers, don't just say you don't like it or you hate it; give me reasons as to why you don't like it so I know what I'm doing wrong. Hopefully I can post the 4th chapter soon. Again I would like to ask that you review this fanfic please. Thank you and enjoy this 3rd chapter.**

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><p>Estelle's POV<p>

When Rita said those words followed by her body dropping to the ground, my heart jumped to my mouth, I gave a scream, not loud enough to wake the castle but loud enough to wake _me _up from my stupor. I immediately set into action, I looked at Rita's face and noticed how pale it looked, it almost looked like she was already dead and for a brief moment that's what I thought but then I noticed that she was breathing if only very shallow and faint but it gave me hope. I used my artes to expel whatever toxins she had ingested, I couldn't believe that she would do this right in front of me, I couldn't believe myself that I allowed this to happen, "Stupid, stupid Estelle" I chided myself, "why didn't I see this coming?" I could feel Rita's heart beginning to slow, I sobbed as I redoubled my efforts to expel the poison not sure if I even could under these circumstances but I had to try, "Rita please stay awake Rita" I told her.

As I healed her I noticed that she was looking at the moon, I looked at it and for the first time noticed how big and beautiful it was, my mind momentarily focused on the moon, 'I wonder if this is a natural thing?' I thought to myself before I jolted at the current situation, 'what am I thinking at this point in time? Rita needs my help!' I then went back to saving Rita, "Rita, don't fall asleep Rita, stay with me" I gently told the mage. Then I saw Rita turning her head and facing me, her eyes glazed and were now as big as saucers, she raised her hand and stroked my face smiling knowingly before those emerald eyes slowly began to close followed by her hand going limp and dropping to the floor.

I was horrified at what the outcome would be, I tried to destroy the poison in her body but the fear of losing her made my artes quiver in fear with me, no matter how much I healing artes I injected into Rita I could still feel the heart beginning to crawl to a stop, "Please Rita, don't…I don't want to lose you" I said half to her and half to myself in an attempt to convince myself that Rita would make it out of this alive. Thankfully my artes came through, slowly I could feel that her heart began to beat stronger and stronger until it beat in a normal rhythm, I breath a sigh of relief, Rita was now breathing normally and was sleeping it off. I cradled her body against mine to make her more comfortable but before I did that I went to the table where there was a letter addressed to me, I carefully opened it and read it out loud:

_Dear Estelle_

_If you're reading this then I'm no doubt laying on the floor dead. I'm sorry you had to see me like this but I can't take it anymore. Everyday is a battle of will as I try to survive in this new world, I'm not a coward, I'm not running from this fight by taking the easy way but I simply cannot see any reason to be here any longer, although I have plenty of research and experiments to keep me going its not the reason why I committed suicide, no, perhaps if you ask one of the mages in Aspio they would be more than happy to tell you the reason but in case they don't I'll tell you now; its because the mages hate me, ever since I've arrived in Aspio I've been made an outcast in their eyes. There isn't a day that goes by where they don't insult, belittle or abuse me in some form or another, usually I would be strong and ignore them but recently I've reached my breaking point and I can't take it anymore, I've always been alone with only you and Yuri to turn to for help but with the workload you guys are doing I don't think I can burden you any further by giving you mine as well. _

_So I thought before I hurt you guys I would end it, I'm sorry Estelle, I always loved you and even as I write this I know it will pain you to see me like this, please don't blame yourself and don't despair over me, I'm sure that you'll find someone or perhaps even Yuri to help you go through with the pain that I'm sure you'll be feeling once I'm gone. _

_I love you Rita and I just don't want to see you get hurt, please understand that, I understand if you hate me for the rest of your life because for this selfish action but just don't off yourself like I have, I leave you my goggle, perhaps you can find a better use for it or keep it as my gift to you for everything you've done up to now._

_Goodbye Estelle, I'll always be thankful for what a friend you've been to me._

_Rita Mordio_

As I finish reading the letter my hand went numb and I broke down crying, how could I not have seen the pain Rita was suffering, she had so many times gone to Zaphias on the pretence of checking up on me or buying something for her research. How could I have not seen the pain that so evident on her face? Was I so blind to it? I cried so loudly that I could swore it would've woken up at least someone from the corridor but no one came, not one soul came to check on Rita, they wouldn't even know what had happened until morning came…I sobbed in place of my friend, how she must've suffered as she was treated like a pariah by her friends and co-workers, people she known since childhood. I dropped next to Rita, as I gently picked her up and cradled her against my body as I leaned against Rita's bed, "Oh Rita" I sobbed, "I'm so sorry I didn't see this" I cried over her body, her face pale and warm, her smile still etched on her face, a lasting memory for someone who had lived in pain for so long.

I brushed some hair out of her face as I gently closed my eyes, confident that Rita wouldn't die, before I gently fell asleep my dreams dark and empty just like Rita's heart.

Rita's POV

The first thing I noticed when I came to was that there was definitely someone with me, I slowly opened my eyes as the first stream of sunlight came over the horizon and shone on my workbench. I sighed, that meant Estelle had saved me last night, no doubt I would now be pampered from now till the end of time until she was sure I wouldn't try to kill myself again; I slowly opened my eyes and almost had a heart attack when I saw Estelle's face looming in my vision, then I noticed that she had fallen asleep, I also noticed that my head was on top of her lap. I jumped in surprise but that was a mistake as my head then went light-headed and I kind of stumbled for a while before I grabbed a chair and sat myself down, after my vision didn't feel like it was swimming anymore I looked at Estelle and realised that she had been here the whole night taking care of me, "Damn it Estelle" I mumbled, "why did you save me?" I then took out a glass of water and sat myself down and slowly drank it savouring the taste of water in my parched throat.

Soon I heard Estelle stirring, "Huh?" she said as she looked around her before seeing me, "Rita…you're awake?"

"Surprised?" I asked a bit coldly.

"N-no no really" Estelle said looking down not sure of what to say.

Estelle was then about to say something when I cut her off, "I don't want to talk about it Estelle, it's a personal matter…" I then put the glass down and went to the letter, which had been evidently opened, and ripped it to shreds before throwing the remains in the bin. Then I took my goggle and placed it back on my head, it felt weird having it back on my head after I had thought I would never had to wear it again, I sighed and looked back at Estelle who was still staring at me, "come on Estelle, you don't want to be late for breakfast do you?" I said.

"Oh y-yes, right away" Estelle said as she quickly left my room, it was cute seeing Estelle like that…she had this innocence in her that made it so you couldn't stay mad at her for very long, she was almost too sweet for it to be true but I know for a fact that it is. That's what makes her my friend, the undying loyalty towards me and Brave Vesperia, oh well…I guess I'll take another shot in living until something breaks me down again.

We arrived in the breakfast hall just as the others were arriving; "Morning all" Yuri said in a bored tone, what was he doing here? Usually he doesn't come to the castle at all unless its to bother Flynn or to talk with Estelle so to see him here was strange, "what's wrong Rita?" he asked.

"Nothing, just strange to see you here in the morning" I said sitting myself down next to Estelle.

"Hmm" Yuri said deflecting the statement, "so Estelle anything interesting happened last night?"

My heart jumped, why was Yuri asking that question? More importantly what would Estelle say? I've never heard her lie before so would she tell the truth? If that happened I wouldn't know what to do…I would probably die of embarrassment right here and then, I fearfully looked towards Estelle who seemed to be playing with her food before saying with a smile, "Nothing Yuri, why do you ask?"

"Nothing…I just overheard the maids saying that you weren't in your room this morning" Yuri replied.

"Oh I fell asleep in the library, silly me" Estelle said with a smile. I couldn't believe it, she had lied to everyone, a first for her and because of that no one gave it a second thought. Now I felt bad about trying to kill myself last night, I never thought that there would be someone willing to go against her beliefs just for me…I could've almost broke down but didn't since now Raven, Judith and Karol had come in.

"Why's the whole of Brave Vesperia here?" I asked surprised that everyone was here in Zaphias right now.

"We just happened to all pass through Zaphias on our way here and we though it would be a good idea to see how you girls are doing" Karol said with a laugh. I laughed with him but not for the reason he was thinking, they were here to see how we were doing…I wonder what their reaction would be if they knew I committed suicide last night…would they still be laughing about it? Then I slapped myself mentally, of course not, they would be sad and probably try to leave as soon as possible with the exception of Yuri who would be by Estelle's side in an instant consoling her…I began to realise how selfish my actions were and what consequences they could have on other people.

As I looked around the room I could see that I had several people I could call friends, there was Yuri and Estelle, the most obvious one and now slowly reaching some sort of relationship, Yuri was annoying at first but eventually I warmed up to him and now I kinda have a good repertoire with him and Repede who I still wouldn't touch anything that's been in his mouth yet alone eat it; there was Karol who I view as a younger annoying brother, his antics usually push me over the edge and I would reward him with a smack to the head but overall he was a good person and a better leader; Raven…there was an enigmatic man if I ever met one, from the first time I met him until now, I could never decipher what made him tick; I knew he lived a double-life as Schwan, who he said 'died' at the ruins, but I still don't know sometimes who I'm talking to, am I talking to Raven our ranger? Or Schwan the former Captain of the Schwan Brigade? He's a completely mystery and his antics along with his personality really test my patience but I regard him as sort of Brave Vesperia's father figure; then there was Judith our ever mysterious Kryitian…you know I always hated, no disliked, her because of what she did to the blastias when we first met her, I still do to an extent but now I kind of understand why she did what she did…to save the world which we ended up doing anyway in the end but I still wouldn't call her my friend.

So…a full contingent of friends and still I tried to off myself, ain't I a grand person? I laughed at myself before I quickly finished my breakfast and excused myself citing that I got experiments to do. It wasn't that I didn't want to be with my friends and appreciate life, its just that I didn't want Estelle to continually keep lying for my sake since I wouldn't be up to answering question with my state of mind, I walked through the corridor of the castle before settling on a window that revealed the garden that was now lush and green with many shades provided with the oaks and trees that surround the castle. I sighed…life was so beautiful outside…but how ugly was it on the inside? It could even be likened to me…smart and tempered on the outside but inside I was weak and vulnerable, I climbed on top of the window before sitting down on it bathing my face with the bright sunlight and staring at the trees, I heard someone approach me and then Estelle's voice, "You're not going to do it again are you?" she asked with a bit of cheekiness.

I chuckled, I was on the ground floor, even if I did wanted to jump off all I would get in return was probably a bruised back and Estelle latched onto me 24/7, "No Estelle I'm not" I then gave my hand, "come on I'll help you up" I then felt Estelle grip my hand I helped her up to the window as we sat side-by-side looking and admiring at the garden. I knew why Estelle had come to me…I knew that there was some sort of speech or lecture in this little encounter now, "Estelle…if you want to say something now would be the best time to do it? Right now I…I'm in an answering-and-asking mood and probably won't be in this mood for some time so whatever questions, statement or whatever you want to say better be now before I clam up again…" then looking at her worried face, "sorry…" I apologized as Estelle shook her head and hugged me close.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, thanks to everyone who's reviewed and alerted this story. Sorry it took so long to make this chapter, I was kind of discouraged to continue it when there was so little review and alerts and I was actually considering putting it up for adoption but it seems there are a few people who are interested in it so I decided to put this chapter up for their benefit. So please, please keep reviewing so I'm more encouraged to continue on with it or else my muse for it will just sag and I'm sure some of you don't want that to happen. So enjoy guys and as always R&R as well as constructive criticism. See you in the next chapter.**

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><p>Estelle's POV<p>

"Why did you do it?" I asked, it was a rather blunt question and quite forward but I wanted to know so badly why Rita would do something so extreme as suicide, it pained me to see Rita that way last night and I didn't want to tell anyone else because they would have pampered Rita to no end and she really didn't like that except with me.

Rita stared at the trees before leaning on my shoulder resting her head there, "Because Estelle…" she said almost in a whisper, "because I'm tired…you've read the letter right?" it was more of a statement than a question.

"Yes…but words don't mean anything, unless they actually have hurt you" I replied a bit shocked that the mages would resort to violence towards Rita.

"A bit, just a trip here and there, nothing major…unless you count someone throwing a pebble at me but that was no big deal" Rita said with a chuckle.

"Oh Rita" I hugged her close to me, "I'm sorry I didn't see the pain you were in, I should've noticed how much you were hurting on the inside, but I didn't."

"Its okay Estelle" Rita said closing her eyes, "I'm not mad at you or anyone for that matter…I'm just a bit tired that's all."

"Is that the only reason why you tried to kill yourself?" I asked wondering that was the only reason, it didn't make sense that Rita would commit suicide simply because of some words and physical abuses, she was much too strong to let something like that bother her so there must be an underlying reason and she's simply using the mages in Aspio as a scapegoat for that reason.

Rita sighed and hopped off the window before stretching her arms, gesturing me to come with her, I gave a small chuckle before I jumped down as well and we walked around the garden neither of us saying anything before Rita stopped at a big oak tree and sat on a bench covered by the shade as did I. Then she drew up her knee and leaned on me again, "Estelle…why do you think that's not the only reason I tried to off myself?" Rita asked in the same whispering voice.

"Because you're strong Rita, you've-no we- faced countless monsters and people that have tried to kill us, destroy the world, or just try to stop us and we've always come on top of them…you may have been just a mage but you're part of the reason why we managed to save the world from the Adephagos, without you we wouldn't be able to do it, so that's why I don't believe that that's the only reason there has to be something else underneath it" I explained.

Rita blinked a couple of times before swallowing, "Estelle…I have nothing left to live for" she stated.

"What? How could you say that?" I asked, so there was another reason why she had decided to end her life but it was quite vague as to what she was referring to and I wanted to know more.

"Estelle…what am I?" Rit asked.

"You're a mage and our friend" I replied.

"Exactly…I'm a mage Estelle, I'm supposed to do magic, study blastias and do experiments" Rita said getting up and walking to the tree, "but now…now what do I do?"

"You said you were looking for alternatives for blastias."

"Alternatives?" Rita said before scoffing, "I might as well try to resurrect the Adephagos. It's impossible Estelle…I just can't do it" she then slammed her fist into the tree making it bleed before breaking down and crying, "I'm utterly, pathetically useless Estelle…I just don't know why I'm even existing…"

I quickly went to her side and gave her a big hug, "Don't say that Rita, you have so much to live for…you have me, Yuri and everyone else…what will everyone think if you die? Won't they be sad?"

"Only you care about me!" Rita yelled, "only you care about me enough to save me...and I only care about you…Estelle…I-I…"

"Its okay Rita…I know that sometimes the others don't seemed to be interested in you but believe me when I say that they do care about you, they're just not good in showing it."

Rita sniffed and leaned her head into my shoulder again, "Don't ever leave me Estelle…you're the only thing holding me here…just don't leave me…"

"I won't Rita, I promise" I said patting her head, "I care for you too much for me to just leave you."

"Have I ever thank you for being such a great friend to me?"

I chuckled at that; Rita was never one for saying thanks to anyone even if thanks should be given…that was her personality and nature and I doubt that was going to change anytime soon, "Uhm…no you haven't Rita but I don't need your thanks" I said stroking her head.

"Then thank you Estelle…for being such a good friend to me, without you…I would've killed myself long ago, I'm grateful that you've always been there for me, even in the darkest nights when I felt so alone just the thought of you being at the end of that night waiting to say good morning to me was all that prevented me from sleeping forever."

"That's what friends are for Rita…I'm just glad I got to you in time."

"Estelle…you smell so nice" Rita said as she closed her eyes, "did you always smell this nice?"

I blushed a bit, this was completely unexpected and took me off guard, and I never had anyone say that I smell nice so to hear it from Rita was a completely new experience for me, "R-Rita" I stammered.

"Yes Estelle?" Rita asked completely unaware of my own reaction to her words.

"N-nothing…just don't do that again okay Rita? You scared me last night" I said deciding not to pursue that angle.

"I'm sorry Estelle…I thought you were asleep in your room, though I'm glad that you were there to save me…" Rita said with a slight smile.

"Well as long as you don't try to do it again I won't-" Estelle's words were then cut off when Rita suddenly grabbed her shoulder and kissed her deeply shocking her completely and making her blush at the same time.

Rita's POV

As soon as I kissed Estelle I knew that I've crossed a line, I immediately disengaged and looked away from her, my cheeks flushing red from part excitement and part embarrassment, "Oh god I'm so sorry Estelle…I-I didn't mean…I mean…uhm…oh damn it…" I stammered unable to say the right words. I couldn't believed that I had just _kissed _Estelle just now…I mean I know that I liked her and all and I just did say that she smelt nice but, did I like, like her? Or was that kiss spur of the moment? I didn't know what to think right now…should I continue it? Part of me said 'no' but another part of me said 'yes' but I couldn't be sure which one to choose.

"Its okay Rita…I just didn't know that you had feelings for me" Estelle said as she looked away from me.

"N-no…what I did crossed the line, I'm sorry Estelle…I just…I just…" I stammered as I tried to think about the next logical step, I already apologized so the next step…should be to explain my actions.

"Take it easy Rita" Estelle said taking my hand and placing hers on top of it, "just calmly explain your actions…I'm sure you're not the impulsive type like Yuri" she said smiling.

I exhaled and said, "I've always had feelings for you Estelle ever since that day when you knew that you were the Child of the Full Moon…that day you looked so innocent and vulnerable that I just wanted to…hold you and tell you that everything was okay."

"Why didn't you?" Estelle asked.

"What would've happened if I did? I would've looked like I was taking advantage of you…plus all the others probably would've harassed me to no end if they did know about it and I bet they would've known about it" I explained especially thinking of Raven and Karol who would've been on my case like a bad experiment.

"That is true…that long…wow I-I really don't know what to say" Estelle said.

"D-don't worry about it Estelle…it won't happen again, I promise" I said, she didn't need this…she needed someone she could depend not a depressed mage who had just tried to take her own life last night. Rita knew that no matter what happened she wouldn't be the one that Estelle needed, she needs someone like Yuri who would be able to take care of her and sort out the emotional stuff on the side not her who mixed personal and professional life into one humongous mess.

"Actually Rita…" Estelle said playing with her index finger, "I…uhm…I kind of have a secret that no one else knows about."

"Huh? A secret?" I exclaimed, that was surprising, I though Estelle didn't keep any secrets from anyone so to hear her say that she has some secrets was as surprising as Yuri going to join the Knights again…which by the way he has expressed that he never wanted to ever again.

"Y-yeah…you see Rita…I…uhm…how should I put this" Estelle stammered her face becoming a deep red…I gulped when I saw that meaning that this was going to rock my world forever…probably…

"Yes?" I said prompting Estelle to continue.

"Well…Rita I kind of love women" Estelle softly said.

"Love women?" I inquired as I dreaded what this meant for me, "wh-what do you mean?"

"Well…I'm not attracted to men like most women are, in fact I kind of have a dislike for them, so women…kind of attracts me."

"Oh Estelle" I exclaimed nearly tearing my hair out, "please do not tell me…"

"Y-yes Rita…I'm in love with you as well" Estelle admitted.

This had just became a complete disaster…just moments ago I had professed my love for Estelle and now here I am with Estelle doing the same thing to me, could this day get any worse? A part of me actually said that the day could be getting better but I decided to ignore that part knowing what that meant and I _did _not want to go on that route but I had to admit I was kind of happy that Estelle felt the same way about me, "So…since when?" I asked.

"About the same time we defeated the Adephagos…actually that was a crush at first and it took last night to determine that I really do love you Rita. You're so smart, brave, a bit reckless" she giggled and I had to admit that all those qualities do apply to me, even the reckless bit, "and oh you're just who I want to spend the rest of my life with" Estelle said happily.

"But Estelle…you're a Princess…I'm just a mage…we can't be seen like this" I said hoping that I didn't break her heart when I said this.

"Oh don't worry about that" Estelle said, "we'll just have to keep it a secret."

"A-are you sure about this Estelle?"

"Sure as sure as the old saying goes" Estelle said and before I could offer any protests Estelle lunged at me and gave me a passionate kiss, this time I didn't resist and just simply let it run through its course while I stroked Estelle's hair and moaned a bit and I felt like the luckiest mage in the world.


	5. Author Note

Hey everyone, sorry for not updating for a long time. I know I said in the summary that it's been discontinued and that it was up for adoption but now I have my muse for this story back up and I'm going to continue this story so please hold on for a few more weeks since I also have final end of year exams so I probably won't be able to get the next chapter done until January or late December but until then please show your support for me.

Thanks guys for all those who had to wait for the continuation of this story.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone I'm so, so sorry for not updating in a long time. As you've probably read from my Author Note I had lost muse for it and it was put up for adoption but now I decided to reboot this story so here's the long-anticipated 5th chapter; as always please read and review this chapter and tell me what you think about it and if you have any criticism please tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can improve. Thank you and hope you enjoy this chapter, see you in the next one!**

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><p><em><span>Estelle's POV<span>_

The next morning I happily skipped across the castle hallways, I was the most happiest girl in all of Terca Lumires, I found out yesterday that Rita loved me and that I loved her back…there was just happiness and joy in my heart; there was nothing in the world that could bring me down and I was looking forward to spending time with Rita. Of course we had to keep it a secret, even if I am the princess it would still feel strange if I openly express my love for Rita and it would also embarrass her and I didn't want that to happen so, of course with Yuri not many things could remained secret for long, he had a knack for finding out things that you would rather remain a secret…so that was one problem and the other one is Flynn.

Although he's a good knight and the most wonderful friend other than Rita, he always keeps worrying about me, he can't help it but he has a good reason to do so since I left Zaphias without permission and went with Yuri who, I have to admit, isn't the most appropriate escort for someone like me so it was understandable that Flynn wouldn't be too happy if I disappeared again without telling him…or keep a secret. But I can handle Flynn since I can lie to him, which is another thing altogether; I was always told that lying was bad and that lying would only result in people getting hurt or suffering…because of that I had never contemplated lying and I always thought that lying was bad, which it was, but yesterday was a special occasion and no doubt Rita would've been surprised by it…but if its for her then I'll happily do anything for her.

I soon arrived at Rita's room and knocked on her door before I heard her say come in, I opened the door and saw that she was doing some experiments, "Good morning Rita" I said as I closed the door.

"Good morning Estelle" Rita said with a smile as she turned to me, she was looking much better than a day or two ago, her face was so bright and cheerful…full of life and joy that you wouldn't know she was suffering from the inside; I had the same thoughts every time I met her…that Rita had no emotional problems and she was just the same Rita as always, that line of thought nearly cost me my most dearest friend, and I vowed to always be there for her and talk to Rita every day to make sure that she was okay.

"What are you doing today?" I asked with a smile.

"I'm experimenting…just trying to figure out the formula" Rita said as she carefully tipped some liquids in and a small puff of smoke came out of the receiving vial, "nope…that's not the correct mixture."

"What are you trying to make anyways?" I asked as I went closer and put my chin on her shoulder.

"An elixir to augment one's physical strength…just another project that I just wanted to do out of boredom" Rita said as she put the vial down and stroked Estelle's head.

"Any success so far?" I asked as I nuzzled Rita's hand, it felt so soft and lovely, just like a flower…oh how cold those hands were two nights ago…I shuddered at the thought that I would never feel such warm hands ever again.

Rita sighed, "No…the composition and mixture is just far too difficult and complicated even for me" she admitted as she took off her goggle and stretched making sure to avoid hitting me while she yawned, "I'm so tired…"

I giggled, Rita looked and sounded cute when she did that, it was almost like watching a cat yawn and stretch; it was so cute that I just had to hug her which I did as Rita leaned her head back and smiled, "What are you going to do today?" she asked me.

"With you of course" I immediately replied making Rita frown, "what's wrong?"

"You do know that I'm not going to do anything stupid" she said as I now frowned.

"I know but don't you want me with you?" I asked.

"Of course I do but…" Rita said before looking away.

"But what?" I asked a bit upset that Rita might not want me with her, of course everyone had gotten used to me being with Rita and no one object to it, and I never considered that people would look at us weird or anything because I was just so happy with Rita that I never thought about it but perhaps Rita thought about it.

"Nothing…its just my silliness" Rita said with a smile before she turned and kissed me, I was a bit surprise since I never thought Rita would be the one to make the first move, but soon I just melted into her embrace and I felt the luckiest girl in all of Terca Lumiries.

"How about we go out?" Rita asked after a while, "it's a good day today and I want to stretch my limbs."

"That's a great idea" I said happy that Rita was now going to do something other than experiments after experiments; I usually became so worried that she would do nothing for the rest of her life except continue to do experiments after experiments, "I heard that there's a festival going on in the square, we could go there."

"Wonderful" Rita said, "just let me get ready" she said as she went to the bathroom and seemed to be taking her clothes off to change it. For a moment I had the urge to take a peek inside the bathroom and see Rita, of course it was rude and immoral of me but both of us are girls and there was nothing wrong with me taking a peek at Rita's body.

But before I could act on that thought Rita had already came out, she was dressed in the same outfit as before, although I didn't mind I did have to think if that was all she ever wore, "I think it would be also a good time to do some shopping…you really do need other clothes then that" I said.

"What's wrong with this one?" Rita asked, "it's practical, good and I like the colour red."

I sighed and smiled, "Still…don't you get tired of wearing the same clothes every day?"

"No."

"Okay then…but I still think that you need better clothes" I said as I opened the door and let myself out before Rita followed me and closed the door before locking it.

"There…now lets go shall we?" Rita said as I restrained myself from kissing that cute face of hers.

"O-of course" I said snapping out of my trance, no…as much as I would like to kiss her, there were too many people about and they would be questioning why I was kissing Rita even though they knew that we were both really good friends, "lets go and enjoy ourselves shall we."

_Rita's POV_

"Ack! So bright!" I exclaimed the moment we stepped out of the castle doors, I didn't think that it would be this bright, because of my work I had an annoying habit of closing the shutters in my room meaning that very little light would actually be getting through to my room making it always dark, Estelle wouldn't mind me closing my shutters and quite frankly I think she enjoys the darkness that the room gave but now I'm paying the price as my eyes had to adjust to light that hadn't been seen in days.

"Are you alright Rita?" Estelle asked rushing to my side.

"Y-yeah…just golden" I said, "just need to get used to the light."

"I really think you shouldn't close the shutters…even if I do like the dark myself" Estelle said, "its not good for you."

"I know but its kind of annoying when the smell goes away…I kind of like the smell of experiments" I replied.

"Are you okay now?" Estelle asked.

"Super" I said as my eyes finally adjusted to the sunlight and I was able to walk without stumbling around like a blind man, "lets get to that festival shall we?"

Estelle grabbed my hand and literally dragged me towards the square, it wasn't a strange thing, many people had seen us together and more often then not I was being dragged somewhere by Estelle, sometimes against my will, so that was an advantage for us because people wouldn't think twice about me going with her, "Slow down Estelle" I said half laughing and half smiling, "I can't keep up with your speed."

"Hurry up you slowpoke" Estelle teased, "we're going to miss out on the festival if you're this slow."

"Alright, alright I'm coming" I said with a smile, it was so good and wonderful to spend time with Estelle even if it was for a festival like this one; I always shied away from her because I thought she would never accept me for who I was…I always thought I would just be another mage in her eyes but now I now that's not true, she loved me just as I loved her and for me that was life in itself.

We soon arrived at the festival where it was already in full swing, there were stalls that sold various goods, entertainers that were entertaining the crowd either through music, plays or even petty tricks and there were foods set out to feed the crowd as the day went on; overall the people were happy and it looked like it would be one interesting event. Estelle pulled me over to a few stalls which sold jewellery and she tried some on and asked me what I thought of them, "Estelle" I replied, "I'm probably the only girl in all of Terca Lumiries who is _not _interested in how I look…ever…"

"Which is why I want your opinion on it" Estelle said not perturbed by my words as I sighed and took a good look at Estelle, she was now wearing a gold necklace with a crescent moon-shaped image attached to the chain, I had to admit it looked super on her and I actually blushed at the thought of me wearing something similar but…yeah…it wouldn't look good on me with my moody moods.

"It looks great on you Estelle" I said, "it really brings out your personality."

"Does it?" Estelle asked sceptically.

"Definitely" I repeated.

"Alright then" Estelle said as she bought the pendant, honestly that girl could never learn to slow herself down, however I kept staring at her as I watched Estelle put the pendant on and I could swear that the pendant was glittering under the morning sun…it looked so beautiful, so entrancing, that I didn't hear Estelle call for me until she literally shook me, "h-huh? W-what is it?" I asked snapping out of my trance.

"I said turn around Rita" Estelle said as I did as she asked.

"What is it?" I asked before I felt something go around my neck, I looked down and saw that it was the same pendant that Estelle wore except instead of a crescent moon as the image it had a sun on it, "What is this Estelle?" I asked.

"It's the matching pair of the pendant I bought" she replied, "it came with the pendant…do you like it?"

"Y-yeah…it looks good but why me?" I asked though I knew the answer already.

"Because you're my best friend Rita" Estelle said with a smile, "no one is more deserving of this then you."

I blushed so deeply I thought everyone knew what I was feeling right now, sure I knew that Estelle would give me this but I looked deeper then a simple gift, to me it looked like she was giving me a special item, an item that signified our bond, friendship…and love for each other and that made me blush deeply, "I-I don't know what to say" I said truthfully, I really was dumbfounded by what Estelle gave me, a thousand different emotions were running through my head and I just simply didn't know how to react to it.

"You don't need to say anything" Estelle said giggling, "your face told me everything…especially what you're feeling at the moment."

"Estelle…" I said in an embarrassed tone as she laughed and dragged me off to another stall after thanking the seller and so it went for most of the day. Before long it was night time and I had one hell of a day, we went to almost every stall imaginable, some of which I cared to never see again like the one selling live insects though why Estelle would be interested in those kinds of things escaped my mind though Estelle simply said that she was 'curious' about them, but there were others where me and Estelle simply enjoyed them before moving on to the next one. She had even taken me to a clothes shop saying that I needed something more then my usual outfit even though I constantly told her that I was fine with my current outfit.

"You'll need something for formal parties and banquets other then your usual clothes" Estelle replied as I thought about it and found out that she was right, although I don't go to these kinds of things often I figured that one day I probably would have to and so it would be good to have some formal clothes handy when that day comes. So I resigned myself to that fate and followed Estelle in where she then made me tried on a variety of formal clothes that all made me seem not like myself, all of them clashed with my hair colour, and there didn't seem to be any red clothes since apparently not a people like the colour red; however I was able to get an auburn coloured gown that seemed to match my hair colour and Estelle and the shopkeeper said it would look good on me during festive or formal occasions so naturally I decided to buy it though I honestly couldn't think of a time where I would have to use it.

"That was a fun day today wasn't it Rita?" Estelle asked with a smile as we walked back to the castle.

"Yeah it was" I replied with an equal smile, it had been a fun day, I never had any fun days before since I was always cooped up in my home or in my room but now…being with Estelle and spending time with her, I couldn't think of a better way to spend a day, I wished that everyday was like this…wait scratch that, everyday can be like this, I can be with Estelle every day instead of just being in my room all the time; I'm sure Estelle would also like that a lot

We soon arrived at the castle and before long we were in front of Estelle's room, "I'll see you tomorrow morning okay Rita" Estelle said with a smile, "it was fun today."

"Most fun I've ever had" I replied back before adding, "thanks for taking me out today Estelle…I really enjoyed spending time with you today."

"How about we go back to the festival tomorrow?" Estelle suggested, "It'll be on until the end of the week, we can go to the festival every day till it finishes."

"I-I…I would like that" I said with a smile as Estelle gave me a peck on the cheek and then went inside as I stood outside dumbfounded before putting a hand on where she kissed me before smiling to myself, "love you too Estelle" I whispered to myself before going back to my room.


End file.
